Success Drives

Success Drives Me, But I Could Never Seem To Do It Alone. Every Time I Get A Good Idea Or A Plan About Something I Want To Do I Always Have To Drag Someone Along With Me. I Alternately Put In Most Or All Of The Work. I Don’t Know What I’m Afraid Of I’m All For Independence But Sometimes It’s Nice To Know I Have Someone Beside Me. I Have To Learn In Life There Is Going To Be Things I Have To Do Alone. Certain Things I Can’t Get Help With. The Thought Is Someone Frightening, Like Can I REALLY Make It Alone? By Myself? Well I Guess I’ll Have Too Because 99.99 Percent Of The Time I Spend More Time Dragging The People I Want To Standing Beside Me Instead Of Us Enjoying The Moments Together. My New Motto “Stop Dragging, Start Living”.

Summer Things ….

My Cousin, My Sister, And I Are Starting A Band. We All Sing,  I Play The Guitar, My Cousin Plays The Piano, And My Sister Plays The Drums; Perfect …. We Came Up With A Name And We Just Have To Put Ourselves Out There. One Problem, Keeping Up With Everything, When Schools Starts Back We Are Going To Get Caught Up In Our School Life. Yeah We’ll See Each Other 24/7 But It Won’t Be The Same. We’ll Have New Problems And Our Band Would Be The Last Thing On Our Minds But We’ll Try.

Got To Be Kidden’

Just Like Always I’m Unhappy. I Started Off My Day Great, Went To A Movie Screening With My Friends, Had Some Food, Walked Around, And Had A Great Deal Of Fun. That Is Until I Got Home. My Father Called Me And Told Me He Noticed I Had 29 Lateness From September Until Now. Some Of You Know For Part Of The School Year I Stayed By My Fathers House But Now I’m Back With My Mom. He Was Upset, Like Really Upset. I Tried To Explain That Being Late Doesn’t Affect My Grades But Of Course That’s Not What He Heard He Heard ‘I Don’t Have To Get To School On Time Because I’m Smart’ Im Sorry Maybe I’m Delirious But These Two Things Have Different Meanings.-I Begin To Cry Out Of Frustration And Confusion But Mostly Because I’m Sensitive-Then He Starts Calling Me A Liar Because He Asked Me If I Was Getting To School On Time And I Said Yes. WHAT THE HELL! Every Morning I Called My Mom Around The Same Time So 1.That Proves I Leave The Same Time Everyday. 2.And It Just Pissed Me Off That She Was Mad And Didn’t Even Acknowledge The Fact That I Called Her. My Parents And I Have An Agreement If I Get Good Grades I Can Get Gifts. So 91 Average Meant A Laptop And My New Phone. All Of A Sudden I Cant Get It, Why? BECAUSE I WAS LATE TO SCHOOL! Doesn’t That Make Them Liars, Too? They Promised Me Things I Now Can’t Get. They Talked And Talked To Try To Make ME Understand Why I Was Wrong. I’m Sorry I’m Not The Type Of Person To Apologize If I Don’t Think I’m Wrong And I Honestly Don’t Think I’m Wrong. The Train And Bus Run On There Ob Schedule, I Can’t Jump In Front Of Them And Tell The To Go Fast. Im Not Saying Its All There Faults Just Saying It Partially There Faults. I’ve Been In School For 8Months Approximately 6Weeks In Every Month And Out Of All Those Days I Was Late 29 Days. Maybe Theres 30 Days Of School And I Was Late 29 Times, Maybe. Now They Want Me To Go To Sleep Earlier, I Didnt Know They Controlled My Sleep. Only God Does And I Know For A Fact My Parents Aren’t God. I Hate My Parents-Well Their Actions But That’s Apart Of Them So I Sumed It Up. Maybe If I Start Failing And Be On Time, Everything Would Be Peachy. I Try My Hardest To Please Them But Their So Freaking Ungrateful It’s Unbelievable. I Can’t Be Their ‘Trophy Child’ And Then The Treat Me Like Crap. Sometimes I Want To Yell LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE Really Loud. I May Be Just A Kid In There Books But I’m Old Enough, They Make Me So Unhappy. Sometimes We Have Fun And Play Around But Eventually Reality Sets In, Their Bi-Polar And I’m Offically Done. I Can’t Say I Don’t NEED Them But I’ve Drawn A Box Around Myself And They Aren’t Allowed. Some Could Say I’m Stubborn But I Don’t Care. I Cant Live With This Stress And Pressure. Pedestals Are Really High And Some Eventually Break.

On-Again, Off-Again

Good Late Morning, Remember That On-Again Off-Again Boy I Was Telling You Guys About? Well I Was Speaking To Him Yesterday. I’m Trying To Cut Off All Communication Because I Know He Can’t Just Be Friends With Me. Throughout Our Whole Conversation I Felt As He Didn’t Want Me For Me But Because I Was Safe And Unpredictable. But I Deserve Better, Right? Now I’m In School And I See Him And It Had Me Thinking, Could I Have Been That Naive? All Along Right In Front Of My Eyes What I’ve Been Trying To Protect Myself From I Was Playing With. I Was Fighting Fire With Teenage Love. But Love Isn’t What It Was At All, I Was In Love With The Idea Of Being In Love, Not Him. But What IF I’m Just Fooling Myself To Make It Easier To Walk Away? If I Am It’s Working But Walking Is What Im Doing.

Above And Beyond….

I Am Kind’ve Annoyed. Now Adays I Feel As If I Don’t Control Anything, Not Even Myself. How Can One Thing Change Your Life So Much You Hate Yourself For It? But Me, Karen? Out Of All People Hate Herself? Once I Thought There Wasn’t Anything In The World That I Loved More. I’m At The Point In My Life That Being Myself Just Isn’t Enough.Does That Explain People’s Lack Of Interest In Me? I Could Sit And Think Of All The Things That Occurs In My Life And I’ll Begin To Cry Because There’s Only One Thing In My Life That I Can’t Change And It’s The Past.

Late Morning

Today I Feel Great. Despite Everything That Has Been Happening I Feel Like Finally Something Is Going To Change In My Life. I Don’t Know If It’s For The Worst Or For The Better But I Feel Like Everything Can’t Stay The Same (From Experience) So I’m Hoping The “Something” Won’t Make Things Worst.