My Sacrifice

Being A Parent Comes With Scarifies. It Seems As If The World Doesn’t Understand That, Because It’s Like I Owe You Something. But I Never Asked To Be Here, Or To Take Up The Life That Has Been Force Upon Me. And Because Of The Position You Hold In My Life I Have To Give You Respect And Sit Here Humbly. I Also Realize Our Relationship Is Taking A Turn When I Begin Counting Down The Days Where I Can Support Myself, Where I No Longer Am Your Responsibility, Where The Word Disrespect Becomes Speaking My Mind, Where You Stop Being The Reason I Cry. And I Thought You Wanted Me To Be Great, To Accomplish The Things That I’ve Imagined In My Dreams. But It Make No Sense To Push And Encourage Me When You’re Also Going To Be The Thing That Hinders Me, That Deceives Me Into Believing That I Am Something Great. When My Life Is In The Palms Of Your Hand, And You Won’t Give Me What’s Mine To Take. Because I Never Asked To Be Here. I’m Just An Insignificant Piece Of The World That Could’ve Been Changed With The Fate Of One Egg. And Somewhere In Between, When Did Your Sacrifices Become Mine? And When Did I Have To Give Up Everything Just To Appease Your Sacrifice. But If This Life Was Never My Choice, Why Does It Have To Be My Lost? And Now I’m Giving Up Hope And Love, And Belief And Trust Because The Things I’m Supposed To Get Them Out Of Has Died. Being Here Wasn’t My Choice, But I’m Living By Choice, So When Do I Get To Take Over This Ride…

Gay Rights!

I Strongly Support Gays Because I Feel They Are People Just Like People Who Aren’t Gay. Saying Gays Don’t Belong Is Like Saying Whites And Blacks Don’t Go Together. What Bothers Me Is That All These Years People Have Fought For Equal Rights And Still Patronize Us. Just Because We Don’t All Share The Same Interest In People Doesn’t Mean Gays Don’t Belong. They Have Feelings Just Like Us And Have A Right To Everything Just As Much As Anyone Else. I Also Have A Issues When People Say God Didn’t Make Man For Man Or Woman For Woman, But He Made Us All Didn’t He? He Loves Us All N Matter What We Do Or Who We Are With He Love Us Unconditionally. Yes I Know Everyone Isn’t Comfortable With The Idea But This IS The 21st Century. Everything Isn’t Perfect But I Believe You Should Be Happy. The World Should Be Focusing On Politics, The Economy, Soldiers, Etc … Yes I’m Only Fifteen And Many Might Say I Don’t Know Much. But I Know We Should Be Happy With Whoever We Want To Be Happy With. Our Ancestors Didn’t Fight For Equality So We Could Single Out Another Group Of People. So By Doing That We’re Making What They Fought SO Hard For Pointless.

Skylar Astin Lipstein

I Want Everyone To Know That I Am Madly In Love With Skylar Astin …. He Is So Handsome And I Love His Character In ALL The Movies He Plays In. Pitch Perfect And 21 & Over And Two Of My Favorite Movies And He Stars In Both. I Plan One Day To Meet Him. I Can Even Imagine How I Would React.

My Train Ride

I Was On The Train On My Way Home, And Then I Saw Him. He Got On The Train With His Five Friends And My Attention Instantly Caught To Him. While He Conversed With Three Of His Friends, I Watched Him. I Mean Really Watched Him. No In Some Creepy Kind’ve Way. I Just Tried To See Beyond His Perfect White Smile And Those Grayish Blue Eyes Of His. I Saw No Sad, Angry Or Any Hate In His Eyes Only Love And Happiness And Peace. And It Got Me To Thinking, What If I Knew Him? If I Had The Courage To Stand Up And Be Accepted Or Denied. 50-50 Chance But It Wasn’t A Chance I Was Willing To Take. So For The 10 Minutes I Still Had Left On The Train I Watched Him, And Of Course Our Eyes Met A Couple Of Times, But They Were So Beautiful. If I Had No One Chance To See Him, I’d Call It Fate.

Good Morning ….!!!!

Hello Wonderful People, I Believe Today Will Be A Good Day (Hopefully), Last Night My Mother Was On The Phone With My Father (No Longer Married But Still Interacts) And She Said She Still Haven’t Address My Issues (Referring To When She Found Out About My Belly Piercing-3days ago) So I’m Thinking When She Does Address It Should I Apologize? That’s What She Would Be Expecting Because “It’s The Right Thing To Do” But Come On. She Doesn’t Even Know My Reasoning Behind Taking It Out And I’m Not Telling Her. And I Don’t Want To Get Into All The Details Because She Said She Doesn’t Really Care. And Too Top Things Off, Remember That Ex-Bestfriend After The Whole Tattoo Thing We’ve Have Conflict Like Physical Conflict And She Would Say Little Comment Here And There While My Mother Told Me Not To Engage In It, And One Of Those Comments Were “Every Thinks Karen Is So Innocent Because She Goes To Church, But They Don’t Know The Half Of What She Does.” … If You Look Like :O , That Was My Face Too. Well My Mother Said She’s Glad She Said That And She’s Glad She’s Been Saying Little Things To Me Because I Deserved It And If She Was Too See My Ex-Bestfriend On The Street She Would Tell Her Thank You …. Yes My Mother, The One Who Raised Me Through Hell And Back, The One I Adored, The One I Loved Til The Ends Of The Earth, The One I Looked Up Too, The One That Even Though She Didn’t Trust Me I Trusted Her With All My Heart … Now Look At All The D’s-Raised, Adored, Loved, Looked, Trusted- That’s Where She Put Me …

Buenas Tarde

Good Afternoon, 🙂 , I Spent Monday Until Today At My Father’s House To See My Grandfather’s Departure. Today Has Been Pretty Good, Nothing Gone Wrong So Far. I’m Less Petulant And More Calm Even Though I’ve Thought About Smacking People. I’m Focused On Becoming Better In Spanish So I Can Speak It Fluently. I Discovered Today A Whole Bunch Of Boys (3) Has Suddenly Taken An Interest In Me. Unfortunately, Yo Quiero Solomente Una Persona Pero Otro Tomó Su Corazón, But I’m Okay With It And I Respect The Decision Porque Now I Can Learn There Are Bigger Problemas Besides Mine.

Just To Be Clear….

Whenever Something Happens To Me I Have To Write It In That Moment. Some Of The Things I Say Is Mostly Out Of Anger And Hurt. I Would Be Lying If I Said I Didn’t Mean What I Said, Because I Did Mean It. I Meant It If I Said I Hate You And I Hate How You Make Me Feel But Here’s The Thing, I Meant It In That Moment. Everyone Feels Hate Just As Much As Love. I Choose To Write About It Because I Have No Other Way To Express Who I Feel. I Tried, I Tried So Hard To Bottle Everything Up And Keep In My Pain And Hurt But I Never Get Over It, I Hold On To It. When I Write About It, I Let It Go And Set It Free And This Helps Me See The Bigger Picture. Yes My Mother Annoys Me And Pisses Me Off And I Even Hate What She Does But At The End Of It All, She’s My Mom. She Was There Through It All When No One Else In World Even Knew About Me. Quick Story: You Know If It Wasn’t For My Mom I Wouldn’t Be Born. Her And My Father Decided To Get An Abortion When She Was Pregnant With Me. And She Couldn’t Go Through With It….I Try To Remember This Every Time She Makes Me Mad And It Always Seems To Slip My Mind. So Even If I Say Things About My Mom I Still Love Her.

Sisterly Love

From An Outsiders Perspective You Can’t Fully Understand Everything I Experience. Even If I Try To Explain It To You, You Still Wont Get It. Today (No Exaggeration) I Nearly Died. I Had To Run A Lot Of Blocks, And When I Stopped I Couldn’t Breathe. My Chest Was Hurting Like Hell And The Only Person In The World That Seemed To Matter To Me Was My Sister. Through All Our Fights And Arguments She Never Left My Side. When I Needed Her The Most She Was There, She Always Is. It Made Me Feel So Awful Because Of All The Times I’ve Been Really Nasty To Her, In That Moment It Didn’t Matter To Her. I Love My Sister To Death And This Was A Rude Awakening That I Need To Value Our Relationship Just A Little Bit More. I Need To Change As A Person Because Without The People Who Care About Me Enough To Put Up With My Crap, I Would Be Broken.

What Parents Think, What We Know

My Mother Can Be Very Manipulative At Times And I Hate That. Parents Always Feel They Do A Lot And All Kids Have To Do Is Go To School So We Don’t Really Have A “Life”. But Parents Don’t Know The Half Of It. The Constant Studying, Keeping Up With Chores, Of Course We Can’t Miss Our Shows, And Then Boys Are Ten Different Issues By Itself. So See I’m Pretty Busy And That Means I Get Stressed And Tired Like Every Other Person In The World. My Mother Asked Me To Help Her And I Begin To Complain 1) Because When Someone Asks You To Do Something, You Usually Have A Choice, But My Mother Makes Me Do Whatever It Is. 2) Because When She Asked The Day Before It Was Only One Thing And That One Became Several. She Gets Mad At Me, Tells Me Forget It, And To NEVER Ask For Anything Again. Clearly My Mother Needs A Serious Attitude Adjustment And A Some Therapy. Anyone In Their Right Mind Can See How Unfair She Is. Oh Wait That’s Not Even The Best Part, I Asked Her For Money And Got Nothing. How Awesome, Right? -______- Well I’m A Survivor And If She Refuses To Give Me Things I Will Become Antisocial Karen. And She Thinks I Get An Attitude For No Reason. On Another Note I Finally Saw The Movie ‘Big Miracle’ (Old But I Don’t Care) I’m A Sucker For Animals, Especially When Their Helpless. The Whales Were So Adorable And When The Little One Died…. ;( Good Night, Have A Get Day Tomorrow And Enjoy Your Sleep.

“The Rain”

I Love The Rain For Many Reasons, One It Is So Pretty. Despite What Others Think, (They Hate It, They Want It To Stop), I Want It To Keep Going. The Rain Makes Me Happy And Allows Me To Relax. Have You Ever Just Stared At The Rain? It Opens Up You Mind To Think. Okay, That’s It, Good-Bye.